You birth is Your birth story!

Here’s to beginning the journey toward birth! These next weeks . . . months . . .will be filled with dynamic changes, transformation, exploration, and growth — both figuratively and metaphorically. As we begin this journey together, we want to share our vision for your care. You are the hero of your own (birth) story.

We practice the Midwifery Model of Care. That means that YOU are the center of the care. YOU are the decider. Our role in your care is to provide education, guidance, consent, information, and provide clinical information. At every step of the way, we will share the information and evidence about your choices. But, we are very aware that you will live with the memories we make, and you will have the consequences of all of the decisions made in your birth. That fuels our commitment to providing unbiased information, and trusting you to make choices.

That sounds like a lot of responsibility on your side of the fence. It is. A. Lot. of Responsibility.

But you are created for this, and we’re here to provide guidance and resources all along the way.

You are the Hero of Your (birth) Story

Every great story has a central figure - the Hero. That’s you. Al ofl the classic heroes - even the superheroes - have challenges to overcome, and need some tools and support to really achieve the challenge. I’d love to list some of them here, but the most well-known heroes from the most well-known movies are usually men. And in our arena, birth is a superpower, and women are the heros, so we won’t delve into examples of the hero’s.

The Guide

If you’re the Hero, I guess that puts your midwifery team into the role of the “guide”. We don’t have magic, but our goal is to provide information and support.

In story design, the Hero is a character “on a growth curve” with an obstacle to overcome. The Guide is someone with experience and wisdom who joins the hero and helps her on the quest, who are the other people in your (birth) story? It’s all in the name. The term “midwife” means with-women. Midwives come alongside. We offer support and guidance. We are not here to rescue you. We cannot guarantee that you will get the birth you want. Our job and our priority is offering direction to keep you and your baby safe - within our scope and ability. The actual work and decisions are yours.

The Victim

Let’s talk just briefly about the Victim role. I’m only mentioning the victim because sometimes women see pregnancy as something that ‘happens to them”. If they have a lot of difficult symptoms, some pregnant women nurture a little inner victim storyline. Their mindset switches from an action role overcoming obstacles, to a feeling of overwhelm and inadequacy. Be on the guard for the victim voice in the messages from our culture at large, or your smaller community & family culture more specifically. Please commit to stay in the hero role. You are powerful and capable, and you are not a victim. You do not need anyone to rescue you. Think about this: if you leave the Hero role, and become the victim, your brain is going to turn to someone else to put them in the hero line. And, then you may also be temped to put someone in the villain role.

The Villain

What about the villain? In order for there to be a villain in a story, there has to be a victim. If you dip into the victim role, it’s a very quick trap to begin to look for a villain - in your relationship, your family, and even your birth team. It can be even more subtle than that. If you look through the lense of a victim at pregnancy, then the pregnancy itself can be the villain. Even the baby can play the villain role. There are a few ways that can go sideways as you begin your parenting journey. Some women joke that they will tell their teenager how difficult labor was when their teen resents their restrictions. That’s the victim / villain mindset:

We’re all here to support you - and we’ll do our very best to help you learn all that you need to learn so you can achieve the birth you are destined for. None of us are villains if you are in the hero role. Obviously, none of us have control of the future. No one can guarantee any kind of particular birth experience. But if we team up, we can write an overcoming hero story.

Let’s Write Your Story

All you can do . . . is what’s yours to do. Do what you know to do. Do the next right thing. Make the best decision you can with the information you have. Lean into your intuition. Search for peace. Reflect on your unexamined beliefs. Whether it’s your physical health (focus on your nutrition, move your body, pursue balance) or your mental health ( take classes, read books, learn what you need to learn ) or your emotional health (manage stress and anxiety, cultivate your faith, build your healthy relationships) . .. do what you can, and hold the rest very lightly.

Aim for what you want. Roll with what you get.

That’s all you can do. That’s all we can ask.

Please reach out by text, emails, or in the portal if you ever have any questions or challenges we can help with!